If I was gone would you come find me?
by The Bad Touch Trio Girl
Summary: 'What did I deserve to end up with a life like this? I was always the polite one so why does he get the good life' Canada asked himself these questions everyday so maybe it's time to find out? Snapped!Canada.


If I was gone would you come find me?

_A/N: Listening to Iggy on my phone when this idea came to me, I just constantly do Canada stories but that doesn't bother me because Canada's awesome!_

_I hope you enjoy another creation of mine_

_Disclaimer: Right seriously I've said this countless times and I still don't own Hetalia (sadly...)_

* * *

Matthew sat in his room with his hoodie up and head facing down to the floor. He could hear the laughter of his family from downstairs as they watched a movie.

Matthew had wanted time to himself to think, he had told them he wasn't feeling well when he had came home from school that day, it was a complete lie and so obvious that it was one too but they had bought it and replied with "Why don't you go lie down for a while then?" And then went back to praising Alfred on his test score even though he had done better.

It had hurt him when they had said those words-they could always tell when something was wrong with Alfred but never him. It was always Alfred this and Alfred that, what about him? Did they ever notice his feelings? Did they notice him fullstop?

No.

That would be the answer to all those questions, what makes I worse is that occasionally he would walk out the house when they were in the living room while they sat together watching a movie he would stand up and walk out, and they would not notice. When he would return they were doing their normal thing and hadn't notice he was gone the whole time.

One time to grab attention he dressed in all leather and put on black make up and got piercings oh that was the most attention he had got ever...

***Flashback***

_Matthew stepped through the front door with a industrial piercing, a earring, a nose piercing and a tongue piercing. He had on a leather jacket, ripped black skinny jeans studded boots, fingerless leather gloves and he held a metal hockey stick in his right hand and a cigarette in the other along with a bottle of beer._

_Arthur walked through the door that connected the hallway to the dining room, when he caught sight of the Canadian he instantly became furious-and was going to start screaming at him but bit back any remarks, maybe he had a good explanation? Letting out a breath he didn't know he had been holding he looked at the taller male in the eye as the other smirked back and took a drag from his smoke "Matthew, what are you wearing?"_

_Matthew let out the smoke into Arthur's face making him cough "What does it look like I'm wearing dumbass?"_

_Arthur was dumbstruck; what had he just called him? Taking another shaky breath to suppress his anger "Let me try again, WHY are you wearing that?" He asked his fist shaking by his sides._

_Matthew looked at the man "Because I fucking felt like it, got a problem with it short ass?" He asked "and even if you do why should I care it's not like you could stop me." He laughed when he saw the man tremble "Awwwww, is short ass going to cry?"_

_"Mathieu w'at do you t'ink your doing?" The Frenchman asked as he came down the stairs._

_Matthew looked at his father with a smirk "Talkin' to short ass what else does it look like asshole?"_

_Francis was appalled at his sons behaviour "W'at did you just call me?" He asked seething with anger._

_Matthew smirked as he let the alcoholic liquid flow down his throat, he brought his metal hockey stick to his fathers face "You know this thing can crush a skull in one hit. How would it feel to have your brains splattered across this room in one hit?" He asked grazing the item against his cheek._

_Something in Arthur snapped "What the fuck do you think you're doing?! You come in here dressed like some...delinquent! And start threating you father?! Where is the sweet little Matthew that used to run into my arms when he was scared?" His voice got sadder at the end._

_Matthew stared at his father a couple of seconds before bursting into a chaotic laugh "Seriously?! You don't know?! This is just priceless! Ahahaha!" He took the weapon away from his fathers face "That boy was lost long ago after you started freakin' neglecting him!" He seethed in anger._

_Unknown to him Alfred stood behind him getting ready to pounce "And another thing! Why the hell does Alfred get all the praise?! I'm here to aren't I?! Aren't I?..." He collapsed as Alfed hit a nerve._

_The three of them looked at the person on the floor feeling slightly guilty._

***End Flashback***

After that Matthew had woke up with the three of them sitting beside them by the bed. They apologised and Matthew burst out crying about how he acted.

But yet, it doesn't seem they remember that either.

Matthew could feel a small tear trickle down his cheek, no one ever remembers him but for what reason? He never done anything wrong for something like this to happen, has he?

Would it actually matter if he left and never returned?

That would also be no. No it wouldn't matter, they would all forget about him and live a long and happy life without him.

Standing up from his bed he took a backpack that sat under his bed, he had put it there the night he retaliated incase he got the guts to do something like this.

He walked over to his window and pushed it up opening it, he jumped out it and landing on his feet like a cat and brushed off any dirt that may have accumulated on his clothing.

He took out his iPod and stuck the ear buds in-pressing play and walking away from the place he no longer called home with one thought in mind...

'I must get as far as possible before I change my mind.'

**Hetalia!**

Alfred yawned and stretched as the ending credits rolled down the screen "I'm going to go to bed dudes! The hero needs his sleep!"

"Check on Matthew will you? He has been awfully quiet." Arthur said as he looked over the couch to the American.

"Ok dude G'night." Arthur winced at the bad language but tried to forget about it as Francis started to harrass him.

Alfred ran up the stairs and slammed his brothers door open "YO MATTY DAD SA-Matty?" Alfred looked around the room confused, where was Matthew?

He checked every inch of his room for him but their was no sign of him anywhere.

Alfred rubbed his arms as he felt a chill hit him "Dude it's cold in here," he walked over to the window to close it when he saw matthew walking down the street "MATTY BRO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Matthew spun round and faced the window and when he caught sight of his brother he turned on his heel and ran disappearing into the night.

Alfred was confused and worried for him and was that tears on his face?

Yes, yes it was.

Alfred panicked and rushed downstairs with the most likely theory he could think of.

When he slammed the door open he saw Arthur trying to push off the Frenchman's advances "DUDES MATTY'S RAN AWAY!"

The room became silent and Francis and Arthur looked at him in shock "...what?" Asked Arthur quietly.

"I saw Matty walking down the street crying and when I shouted on him he ran, Matty ran."

The room was engulfed in a silence before Francis broke it by screaming "WHAT?!"

Arthur and Francis zoomed for their shoes and grabbed their jackets "C'mon Alfred we need to go find 'im!" Francis turned towards Alfred but discovered he had already left the building.

"Already ahead of ya Pops," he said throwing him a torch "Car will probably scare him so we'll go by foot." He said this while closing the door and passing Arthur a torch.

Francis and Arthur nodded in agreement, and started down the pathway with Alfred following 'Matty, if-When I find you I want a explanation.'

**Hetalia!**

Matthew stopped running after about a hour, he had stopped in front of a park panting; he walked up the path still tired from running and collapsed at a tree leaning his back against it staring up to the sky.

He was feeling bad for running away, part of him was saying that he had done the right thing-another part was say this was possibly the worst thing he has ever done and it was a huge mistake.

Matthew was unsure how he felt, if he could only get far enough so no one would find him then it might do it.

But Alfred saw him, would he go after him? Just like his promise all those years ago?

***Flashback***

_Matthew woke up still in his leather clothing but he was in a completely different spot than previously. "Hey Matty." Matthew looked over to his left to see his brother and parents but Alfred was the only one awake._

_Matthew growled and sat up in his bed "What did you do to me you bastard?!" He shouted picking up the metal hockey stick beside his bed and swung it at his brothers face, just missing him for he had leaned back at the last second._

_He screamed in frustration as he jumped off the bed swinging the hockey stick at his brother who just dodged his attacks "Matty calm. The. Fuck. Down!" Alfred grabbed the stick bringing Matthew closer disabling his movement. "Why are you doing this?! What have we ever done to deserve this?"_

_Matthew looked down letting his bangs cover his eyes so he could not see the tears "What have you done? Why are you asking that question?" He asks his soft voice returning "Do you not know how much I suffer everyday? At school I walk through the halls invisible to everyone, even you. I get beat up by everyone, picked on by everyone because I'm to weak to defend myself-the days I come home saying 'Oh that bruise? Oh I just fell that's all.' It's all lies." Matthew looked up at him with lonely eyes._

_Alfred returned his soft look "Matty..."_

_"And at home you don't even notice me, neither does Papa Francis and Papa Arthur. I walk out the house sometimes when we all sit together in the living room and when I return you do not notice I had left. I walk through this thing I call a life painfully and Invisible, And...and...and," Matthew's eyes narrowed "And now I think it's time for you to die!" He ripped his hockey stick and flung it at his brothers face hitting his right cheek square on._

_When Alfred fell to the floor coughing and spitting out blood, Matthew realised what he done. Looking at the blood covered stick and collapsed to his knees dropping the hockey stick looking at it with frightful eyes. He put a hand to his eyes and sobbed as he realised his horrible dead._

_Alfred wiped the last of the blood off his cheek and crawled over to his older brother, looking at the weak man in front of him he encircled his arms around him "I promise Matty that I won't do any of that again. And if you're ever lost I will find you."_

***End Flashback***

Matthew sobbed as the memory returned "You fucking lied you asshole!" He screamed into the night air "You fucking lied to me! What kind of brother are you?!"

"Not a very good one apparently." Came a soft reply.

Matthew snapped his head up and saw all of his family, standing up he sprinted away from them still sobbing "MATTY!" Matthew ignored the cry and continued running.

He ran unsure on where he was headed, his foot though caught something causing him to land face first on the ground. Alfred and Francis grabbed his arms and lifted him off the ground, "Mathieu w'at did you t'ink you were doing running away? It would accomplish not'ing."

Matthew stayed silent as he yanked his arms out their grip and dusted off the dirt and cleaned his glasses "Matthew answer your father!" Arthur snapped.

Matthew kept his back facing them as he cleaned his glasses "Why? I have nothing to say." He said putting his glasses on his face.

Alfred sighed "C'mon bro, please say something."

Matthew turns around "Do you really want me to say something? Well if you insist. I fucking hate the lot of you!" He screamed at them "The lot of you should go fucking die in a hole because I do not have a brother or fathers." He stood up composing himself. "But then again there's still apart of me that still loves you and still believes I should stay with you, but I'm sick of hearing 'I'm sorry' from you everyday."

They looked at him with hurt in their eyes but stayed silent "I might love you again but it might take a while for my heart to open up once more but I don't think it will. So no matter how many times I say I love you I don't know if I'll ever mean it."

"We understand, you can leave if you want." Francis said quietly.

Matthew gave him a small smile "For once I'll say it, I'm sorry it has to end like this. I'm sorry I can't accept those apologise anymore. I'm sorry."

Matthew stepped forward and hugged his brother "It might not mean anything but I love you brother."

Alfred returned the hug "I love you with my heart Matthew." For once he said his proper name instead of that nickname he usually called him.

Matthew got a sickly smile on his lips "Well then I'm sorry for what I'm about to do." He shoved his hand into his brother and pulled out his brothers heart.

Alfred coughed up blood and fell limp against him, Matthew lay him down softly on the ground. Turning towards his parents he saw their paled faces and he done the same thing to them except they let out ear piercing screams.

The three of them lay on the ground and Matthew put flowers in their hands giving each one a kiss on the forehead. When he reached his brother he whispered into the dead corpses ear "You said you loved me with your heart, so I guess I'll take it." Standing up he took the heart and stuck it in the front of his bag "I'll see you in hell." He laughed.

* * *

"AHHHHH!" Canada bolted up in his bed and screamed as loud as he could.

"MATTY!" The door slammed open and his brother rushed inside followed by France and England. "Dude are you alright? Are you hurt?!" America took his arms to see wounds all over his arms that had been done in his sleep.

Canada cried softly "God I'm sorry, I'm sorry for killing you guys."

America brought him into a hug "It was only a dream Matty stop crying, we're still alive and healthy."

Canada clung to his brothers shirt "God Al...that was the worst thing I have ever saw. God I'm sorry."

"Don't worry Matthew I still love you."

Something in Canada snapped and he smiled devilishly "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Then why don't we find out."

* * *

_A/N: *R.I.P here lies America, France and England who had their hearts ripped out by a crazed Canadian.*_

_So yeah, I had to add that in at the end just thought it would be cool._

_Anyways reviews are loved flames are not._

_-Signed  
The Bad Touch Trio Girl hehehehehehe~_


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